My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
