You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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