Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
