do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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