dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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