Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
