Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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