everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There are leaves in my underwear?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
