It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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