I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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