haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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