He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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