my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
