Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
