So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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