Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
