My brain says no but my pants say off.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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