I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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