I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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