I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
