Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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