I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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