break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
