Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I forget how to act sober
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