walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize