she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
