Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
