I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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