I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize