first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
