Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
