I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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