I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i out mim tonsoeep
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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