quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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