...so i touched it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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