I just pynch a tree in the face
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my poor anus
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
