I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have fence marks all over my body
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
