Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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