No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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