I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
