Pregnant stripper...not hot.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
