My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
