Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize