i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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