why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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