i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
