So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
