Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
