She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the day after is always just damage control
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
