i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
