Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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