Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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