I feel great
I just peed on a car
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
