She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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