And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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