i think my mom watched the whole time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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