the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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