i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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