Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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