Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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