he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
