oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
