White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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