Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
